Tiffs
by kap0w
Summary: A series of conflicts packed into a bunch of random bunch of drabbles. You decide if they're shippy or not.
1. Ticklish

Mmmyah, i'm trying my hand at this drabbledyness. They're pretty much erm... -hides-... i call them "_Tiffs_". The ones i've written so far (there are 2 more at this stage) are mainly Kate Tony centric, you can see into it as a shipping or not, i'm not really bothered. If i ever remember, i might mix it up with the others.

x.x.x.x.x.x.

"Poke me again and die, DiNozzo," Kate growled at him and Tony pouted.

"But it's fu-un" he wined, "not to mention amusing," he grinned.

To prove his point he poked her again, causing Kate to squirm with both ticklishness and frustration.

"Katie's ticklish, Katie's ticklish," he chanted unwisely, missing the composure she was salvaging and the strength she was gaining.

Suddenly, like a rubber band-

SLAP!

"That musta tickled," she said sweetly.

**End. **

x.x.x.x.x.x.

So there it is. Let me know what you think. If it sucks, i wont put up the other one(s).

Ta


	2. Childish

"You are such a child!"

"Am not," he pouted.

"Are too," she stamped her foot.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not-"

"Would you's give it a rest, you're both immature!" Gibbs barked at DiNozzo and Todd. "Bunch of children…" he muttered under his breath, "overbearing parent..."

As one, they both turned to him and forgot who he was.

"Am not!"

**.end.**

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Ta guys. This ones always used, but meh.


	3. Figurative

Hey guys, woulda updated this yesterday, thats right, yesterday, but ff wouldnt let me, pout.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

He stared at the coffee stain forming on his new beige trousers and scowled.

"That's the way the cookie crumbles," Kate piped up from behind him, taking a bite from the cookie in her hand.

He smiled innocently and walked over to her. Leaning into her, he ignored the fluttery feeling forming in his stomach and the way she was looking at him, and plucked the cookie from her hands.

He crushed it in his fist.

After seeing her expression change, he walked smugly out of the room.

"I meant figuratively, Tony!" she yelled after him, staring down at the piled of choc chip crumbs sombrely.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

More shippy, i couldnt help it, hehe. Im yet to actually write the next ones, so expect a major lack in updation. ta.


	4. Smoothed I

CSIMel's input xD

* * *

Kate was sitting at her computer. Lunch time. Finally.

Tony had stood up and put his coat on.

"I have a lunch date with the hottest woman ever," Tony swooned to no one in particular, "She's Brazillian," he stated as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Kate got a brilliant idea. She got out a pen and some post-its.

"Tony," Kate called out.

He spun around.

"You have something on your jacket," she walked over and grinned, smoothing it over.

"Is it gone?"

"Yep," Kate smiled sweetly, stepping back. "Have fun on your date."

"Thanks," Tony said warily.

He walked over to the elevator and Kate held her breath. Once he was out of sight, she let it out and beamed triumphantly.

_I am a sleaze._

At least Tony's date knew what she was in for


	5. Shocked

Time to try one involving Ziva :\ Not my best...

* * *

"My mechanic just sexed me over!" Ziva exclaimed as she walked in the bullpen in a huff.

"That's too ba-aaa…"Tony did a double take, "What did you just say?"

"My mechanic!" she cried indignantly, "Sexed me over .I go in there to get serviced and he expects me to put out, just like that!"

Tony's jaw dropped and his eyes turned saucer like, listening to Ziva talking openly about her sexual exploits. She continued her rant.

"I mean, I'm a regular, yes? I expect it to be quick, but nooo he drags it on and on an on…"

Tony fainted.

Ziva shrugged and stepped over his body, aiming her ramblings at McGee now.

"I am so getting my car fixed somewhere else now. He did a wobbly job on it too," she crossed her arms.

McGee suddenly caught on, "Your mechanic did a dodgy job on your car after making you pay more because he took his time and he pays by the hour?"

Ziva nodded, scowling and prodding Tony with her foot.

"Aah," McGee said, "And also, I think the colloquial term you were looking for was '_screwed over_' not, uh, '_sexed over_'."

Ziva shrugged, "Woops," she noticed Tony coming to and added slyly, "My mistake."


	6. Ironic

Heh i forgot my original layour of these, i'll try to keep them constant... although theyr different again xD

**.x.x.x.x.x.x. **

"Don't do it," McGee warned Tony from his desk.

"What would you know Probie?" Tony scoffed.

"Uh well I know… well Gibbs is gonna hurt you if you move another muscle."

"Like this?" Tony gripped his fingers around the coffee cup that had been sitting unattended on Gibbs' desk for close to two hours now.

McGee sighed, "Don't say I didn't warn you… it seems like a test to me."

Tony rolled his eyes and gazed down at the lukewarm coffee in his hand.

"But I want to know…"he started dreamily, "Is it, like, magic? He drinks the stuff 24/7… what's so good about his damn coffee that I can't scull mine like he does?"

The cup was now at his lips.

A sharp slap on the back of his head spilled the fortunately-for-Tony's-sake coldish coffee down the front of his white shirt and onto his surprised face.

"Sweetener, DiNozzo," the growl came from behind his back.

Gibbs then strode back out of the bullpen, another coffee already in his hand.

Tony licked his coffee'd mouth.

"Well I'll be."

McGee chuckled.

**.End.**


	7. Initial

Ha i figured this out the other night, dont mock me if you already have xD The ending might need some thought...

* * *

"Don't call me Katie!" 

"But Kaaa-te," some quick thinking followed, "I'm not calling you Katie, I'm calling you Kay-Tee, you didn't tell me not to call you that."

"It's the same thing!"

"Nuh uh," he informed her, "I am merely calling you by your initials, _K.T, _so technically I'm not doing anything wrong here. Ha!"

"That's not my initials if you use my real name, Caitlin, remember? _C.T_."

"City?"

"Dammit DiNozzo."

"What would you rather then, ma'am, Kay-Tee or Cee-Tee?"

"Neither," she grumbled, "That's what names are for, so you don't have to use initials or acronyms- Ha! If you call me K.T then i… damn that wont work, Tee-Dee doesn't sound like anytning…Ay-Dee?" she trailed off in thought.

"Try as you might, I don't care," he walked back to his desk, a triumphant grin plastered on his face.

_Ahah_, she thought, "Sure you don't Stupid Tony DiNozzo." She folded her arms and watched him.

He stopped in his tracks.

"Hey! I am n- I do not!"

* * *


	8. Oblivious

Heh just a note for the previous Tiff, for people like my sleep-deprived friend CSIMel out there, not only was Kate calling Tony stupid, she also implied he was a STD. Carry on.

* * *

**.x.x.x.x.x.x. **

_I smell, McGee is my lover, Systems Error, Skirt Chaser, Sex Machine, Kate (crossed out) Abby (crossed out) McGee loves Tony._

These were only some of the random phrases scrawled in various places on Tony's exposed skin as he slept in the lab. Oblivious to the fact the Kate and Abby had aquired a black sharpie, he was dead to the world.

The pen was nearly running out.

And the interest was wearing off Kate and Abby.

A moustache was quickly added to the ensemble of scribblings.

"What the hell is going on?" a loud voice demanded from the door.

The hushed giggling stopped, the pen poised on Tony's chin.

"Uhhh," Kate stumbled for words.

Quickly, Abby moved the pen tip from Tony's chin to his forehead and in bold letters printed: **GIBBS ROCKS OUR SOCKS. **Complete with little hearts and stars.

A smile tugged at his lips.

"Carry on."

**.x.x.x.x.x.x. **


	9. Taunted

I wrote more xD Go boredom.

* * *

A wet trickle down her spine caused Kate Todd to squeal out loud.

"DiNozzo!" she shouted at the perpetrator behind her.

Said person shrugged, one hand behind his back, and smiled innocently, "Yes?"

Scowling, Kate turned on her heel and continued taking photographs of the crime scene around the small lake. Tony trailing right behind her. Literally.

"Tony!" she yelled after water came into contact with her skin for the eighth time. "If you do that one more time…" she prodded him sharply with a finger and glared at him.

Walking together over a small bridge, Tony scoffed," Ha, you don't even know what you'd do. C'mon Katie, whatcha got. Miss Wet T-shirt '94, I thought you wouldn't mind the cooling dow-"

**SPLASH**

Tony scrambled to his feet in the knee-deep lake. Spluttering, he looked at Kate accusingly.

Wide-eyed and innocent she shrugged, her hands behind her back.

"Yes?"

* * *


	10. Alone

I actually typed up 3 in one day, but no time to post them all. Sorry.

* * *

Abby was alone. Completely, utterly alone. And she was loving it.

She took long strides to her CD player in the lab, humming the _Mission Impossible_ theme and looking around.

Everyone was out on a case. No one to be back for hours. No one to bother her. Although she could do with a Caff-Pow.

Smiling cheekily she pressed play on the CD player and picked up a dog brush meant for Bert.

"To the beat of my, beat of my, to the beat of my heart!" she belted out with the song, brush acting as a microphone.

She danced around her lab, bouncing on her heels every now and then, eyes closed, stopped at Bert to give him a special solo performance.

Suddenly, her spidey senses tingling, she opened one eye, then the other.

"Jimmy!" she gasped, half embarrassed, half indignant, more the latter than anything else.

Palmer stood in the doorway, jaw dropped, a file dropped at his feet as Hilary Duff continued her repetitious song in the background.

Hastily, he picked up the file and stuttered out an apology, "S-sorry, I, uh, stayed behind, uh I wasn't, I don't mind, I mean, I didn't…" he gulped visibly at Abby's face.

She stepped over to him and trailed a finger up his arm.

"Just remember Jimmy," she tapped the side of her nose.

"Uh, err, right. Kill me. You. No evidence. No one. Um, gotcha, bye," he shoved the file in Abby's hands and scurried away.

"Smart boy Jimmy," she called after him.

* * *

Just for the record: Dont own MI. Dont own spidey Spiderman senses (i wish). Dont own anything of Hilary Duff (thank god). 


	11. War Part I

Part One of a 3-Part drabble.

* * *

"One, two, three…"

He manoeuvred out of the way to avoid her tactic.

"Predictable Katie, predictable."

"You're the predictable one DiNozzo, not even making the first move."

"If this was a different conversation the would sound like you want me to make first moves my dear."

"Good thing I was talking about thumb wrestling then, wasn't it," she rolled her eyes.


	12. War Part II

"Tony, Kate, Gibbs wants you two in autopsy," they looked up at McGee, their thumbs stretched far away from each other's.

"Now," he said, giving them a Or-Gibbs-Is-Gonna-Kill-You-For-Messing-Around-Unsupervised-Up-Here look.

He sat down at his computer with some files.

Kate and Tony looked at their joint hands warily. Then at each other.

"It's on," they both growled.

Scowling, neither wanting to lose, they stumbled their way to the elevator, each moving their arms and bodies around in an effort to beat each other in this thumb war.


	13. War Part III

A muffled shout was heard through the shutting doors.

"That's cheating!"

A thump followed.

Inside, they took unintentional turns being pinned against the wall, on the ground, behind each other, each trying crazy ways to avoid a thumb and pin it down to win.

Downstairs, Abby stood in front of the elevator doors, bouncing on her heels expectantly.

The doors dinged open.

Kate and Tony were met with a surprised Abby.

"My… don't you two look…" she paused and gave them an evil and cheeky smile, "…dishevelled."

* * *

The end of this 3 parter. Am thinking of doing a drabble sequal of "Smoothed." 


	14. Protected

**.x.x.x.x.x.**

**SMACK**

McGee flinched as Tony hit him up the head.

"Get back to work Probie," he said and strode out of the lab.

"He's really taking this turning-into-Gibbs thing seriously," McGee rubbed his head and turned to Abby.

"Aw, don't worry, he can't hurt you now," she soothed and went to give him a hug.

**THWACK**

"Abby!" McGee protested and rubbed his head again.

"There was a fly," she nodded seriously.

**.x.x.x.x.x.**


	15. Suspect

I am truly sorry, i dont like this one much, you have been warned.

**.x.x.x.x.x.**

"Whatcha drawing?" Tony grinned and made his way to Ziva's desk.

"I'm touching up my suspect sketch of a victims Peeking Willy," Ziva replied, not looking up from her work.

"Eh?" Tony stopped in his tracks, one eyebrow quirked, then slowly turned back to his desk.

"Done," she walked to the elevator, Tony staring after her, still perplexed.

DING

"That Peeping Tom sketch done Ziva?" Gibbs asked.

**.x.x.x.x.x.**


	16. Rambled

**.x.x.x.x.x.**

"Ahah, Ducky exclaimed, "Now what do you see lodged in the victims throat, Mr Palmer?"

"Is that… broccoli?" Jimmy observed. "Huh, I guess The Simpsons got it right then," he grinned at Ducky.

"The Simpsons?"

"Yeh, there's this Halloween episode where Homer Simpson dies by eating a piece of broccoli. Then Dr Hibert tells them that broccoli is the most poisonous vegetable, its tell-tale unpalatable taste meant to be a warning sign," Palmer rambled on.

Ducky stared at him in amazement.

"Mr Palmer, this man was shot eating his dinner."

Jimmy blushed.

**.x.x.x.x.x.**

(Don't own Simpsons. Doh)


	17. Lame

**.x.x.x.x.x.**

"Why did the tomato blush?" Tony asked no one in particular.

"Tomatoes don't blush," Ziva told him.

"Because it saw the salad dressing!" Tony snorted at his joke.

Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Now, why did the crab blush?" Tony started again.

Ziva looked at him exasperatedly.

"Because the sea weed!" he guffawed.

"And, and, and why did the sausage roll?"

"Because they have the shape that enables them to do so," Ziva said logically.

"No! Because it saw the milk shake!" he slapped his knee energetically.

"DiNozzo you'll do more than shake if you open your mouth one more time," Gibbs informed him.

**.x.x.x.x.x.**

(Thankfully, don't own these jokes)


	18. Lyrical

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

"…Don't you step on my Blue suede shoes. You can do anything, but lay off of my blue suede shoes," Tony sang as he left the elevator, admiring his new shoes.

"Someone's in a happy mood," Kate commented without looking up from her work. Then she glanced at his shoes, "Those remind me of that guys shoes from _Whose Line Is It Anyway_."

"…My brown eyed girl. You... my brown eyed girl," he took in her rare _TV Reference_ and swaggered over to her.

She rolled her eyes in response.

"All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"You are sick," she shot him a look.

Tony walked over to his desk and slumped in his seat.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like: "I love you," he murmured.

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

Kudos to you if you know the songs and the tv reference thingy. Not my best, but meh.


	19. Mistletoe

Just a delayed Christmas special. Happy holidays xD

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

"Merry Ex-Mas McGee!" Abby squealed and jumped up from her chair to greet him as he entered the lab.

In his head, McGee cursed the case they had to work on, on Christmas Day, of all days. But hey, this was Abby.

"Merry Christmas Abs," he smiled and hugged her, albeit awkwardly.

He noticed a look in her eyes. _The_ look.

"What?"

"Nothin'," she replied, "Just close your eyes."

McGee obediently shut his eyes.

With McGee's eyes closed, Abby pulled out a sprig of mistletoe from her pocket and twirled it in front of his eyes.

"Open."

His eyes snapped open. Then his face went red. His pupils dilated. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, making them puffy and he scratched at his arms feverishly.

"Oh shoot, McGee!" Abby dropped the mistletoe. "You have got to be the only person I know who's allergic to mistletoe."

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.**


	20. Resolutions

And a delayed New Year's one. HNY!

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

"Another year of skirt chasing?"

"Another year of forced healthy eating?"

"Another year of ducking Gibbs?"

"Another year of perfection?"

"Another year of annoying the hell out of me?"

"_ME_? It'll be another year of _you _annoying _me_!"

"No way! You always start it!"

"You're not as innocent as everyone thinks!"

"You're delusional!"

"_You're_ delusional!"

"Well you're-"

A pair of lips silenced the other. Protests died down and hands roamed softly. A countdown was audible in the background, followed by cheers and "Happy New Years."

He placed his hands on his cheeks and pulled himself away from her lips reluctantly. Resting his forehead on hers, he saw the same emotions in her eyes.

"A year of this?"

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.**


	21. Smoothed II

A long "_Smoothed_" sequal. Thanks for waiting.

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

Kate chuckled as she saw Tony sitting at his desk. It was early. Too early for Tony if he had had a successful date last night with that Brazilian. So, it was conclusive that the date hadn't gone too well.

"Morning Tony," Kate said cheerily, carelessly dropping her bag on her desk, keeping her eyes on Tony.

Tony looked up at Kate and beamed. Not the reaction she was looking for.

"Kate! Aren't we chipper this morning?" Tony exclaimed just as happily.

They eyed each other.

"How'd that date go last night Tony?" Kate asked, grinning as she saw his beam go down a notch. Then it brightened.

"Oh you know, beautiful girl, just not one for thinking," he tapped his head. "So gullible that one. Anyway, back to work for me." He resumed his writing.

Kate was annoyed but she let it go.She'd mock him some more later. Turning around, it was only then that she saw Tony's reason for being so cheerful.

Forming a perfect circle, ostracising her work area from the rest of the bullpen, was an area of nothing but post-it notes. Well there were objects under the post-it notes, but none visible. Post-its of every shape and colour, all saying numerous movie quotes, sayings, words and even little pictures. Absolutely everywhere within Kate's working bubble.

"DiNozzo!" Kate spun around in frustration to find Tony standing right behind her.

He walked around her to inspect his handy work.

"Karma's a bitch, dear Katie," he informed her calmly and stuck a picture of a cat on her back.

She spluttered in response.

"If I don't see this cleaned up by the time I come back, you will both be covered in them!" An irritated Gibbs yelled out to them as he strode past and up the stairs to MTAC.

"Haha," Tony smirked at Kate and crossed his arms.

"Don't think I'm deluded Tony. There was a reason you were here this early and it wasn't just because the Brazilian bitch-slapped you. You're cleaning this up too!"

This time, Tony spluttered.

"It's only karma, Tony," Kate smiled sweetly and peeled off _Show Me The Money!_

A pink_ Shut Up!_ was posted on her forehead.

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.**


	22. Uncharacteristic

**.x.x.x.x.x.x.**

"C'mon, sit on the couch…"

Tony sat next to Kate.

"Snuggle time."

He gave her a look and scooted over, then stretched oh-so casually.

"Nice one buddy."

Tony's arms were now around Kate and they were both giving each other the rare glance.

"Now… make out!"

"You're such a pig, Tony, I can't believe you made us into Sims. It's so obvious they're out of character."

Back on the computer monitor, Kate stood up and slapped Tony.

"Huh. I take that back."

**.x.x.x.x.x.x. **

**R&Rplz **


End file.
